Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconsupergirlswag: More from SuperGirlSwag


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
June 9, 2013
File Size
705 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
428
Favourites
25 (who?)
Comments
15
×
Enough tears
Enough crying
I've had too much
I've had enough

Too many sleepless nights
Too many miserable days
Too much of black and white
Too much of grieve and pain

Enough is enough
And that is where it ends
I wanna be myself
I wanna live again

I want to smile
And laugh like crazy
I want to cry
From being happy

I wanna colors back into my life
I've had enough of black and white
I just want to live and breathe and feel
I want to be alive again, I just want to be me
I haven't upload poems cause I was writing complete bullshit. This is an attempt of positive writing... Fuck I really suck at it. I generally suck at writing so yeah... I don't even know
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel here for #poeticalcondition. I promise to be fair.
The most outstanding aspect of the poem is the structure/form. The use of repetitions, specifically. This was certainly intended for effect.Be certain that the effect will come across, because it did for me I could feel your emotion, perhaps contempt or disgust, judging from the first two stanzas, but certainly not delight.Stanza three is the most evident expression, plainly. From there onward, the reader should understand where you stand. I will not rattle on about diction, since this poem expresses best in spoken language. That is simpler. Well-done. Keep writing. Cheers.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
All we can do is keep writing. And reading our own work. And maybe do something different next time.
Reply
:iconsupergirlswag:
SuperGirlSwag Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
yeah :)
Reply
:iconvalkaneer:
Valkaneer Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Professional Writer
I think you suck and happy because shitty is normal.

I know what that can be like, but when your unhappy, just picture me in a hula-girl outfit! ;P
Reply
:iconsupergirlswag:
SuperGirlSwag Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
ahahhahah :lol: that would be hilarious :D
Reply
:iconvalkaneer:
Valkaneer Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Professional Writer
'at' rather, not 'and'
Reply
:iconsupergirlswag:
SuperGirlSwag Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
:giggle:
Reply
:iconxxxxbrokenxangelxxxx:
xxXxBrokenxAngelxXxx Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Student Writer
This doesnt suck, i really like this piece. Its something i really can relate too, and beautifully written. Great Job!
Reply
:iconsupergirlswag:
SuperGirlSwag Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you so much!
Reply
:icontomkilbane:
TomKilbane Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
yeah your right i'll bet ya Bob Dylan said the same thing........your awesome and never think you suck because for one no-one else ever wrote it!!!!! f em!
Reply
:iconsupergirlswag:
SuperGirlSwag Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
aww, thank you so much :hug:
Reply
Add a Comment: